Dallas Sex Therapist Lauren Jordan hears this all the time from women she works with:
I would feel guilty if I used a vibrator for self-stimulation, because I have so little desire – what I do have should be shared with my partner.
This comment reflects a common belief that masturbation takes sexual energy away from your partner, and is therefore not good for your relationship. However, two Indiana University studies just released their findings that totally contradict this belief.
Vibrators can be an important part of a healthy, enjoyable relationship.
Vibrators can increase libido and sexual desire
In the studies, they found that vibrator use is associated with more positive sexual function, and being more proactive about taking care of one’s sexual health. Sex therapists have been recommending vibrator use to women for years, as a way of learning their bodies and their sexual response, which they can then transfer to their partners. Of course, vibrators can also be used during sex with your partner to increase stimulation or to add variety.
While some men may feel threatened by the idea of bringing a toy into your sexual encounter, the statistics show that this is changing. The studies found that 53% of women in the U.S. and 45 % of men ages 18-60 use vibrators in their sexual interaction. Vibrator use is linked to positive sexual functioning – including experiencing desire and more easily reaching orgasm.
If you know more about your body, and what feels good to you, you will be more likely to want to have sex more often.
Why vibrators can help your sex life
One of the top 3 complaints I hear about in sex therapy is that sex has become boring, stale or routine. Often one partner is not comfortable with developing a full sexual menu, so the partner gets bored. It can even be a reason that partners lose their libido.
Perhaps you worry that you “take too long” or that your partner’s mouth or neck gets tired.
Or maybe you just want to try something different for fun. Or maybe you are working solo on learning how to orgasm. Adding something new can spark your libido, so have fun.
Reach out for help today
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If you’d like more ideas about how to jumpstart your low libido, take a look at my eBook – No Room For Sex: How To Boost Your Low Libido. You can start today to spice things up!Please like and share this post!