Would it surprise you to learn that more Americans search Google for “sexless marriage” than for “unhappy marriage”,”loveless marriage”, or “cheating marriage”? If you are in a sexless marriage or sexless long-term relationship with your partner, or have sex once a month or less, you are not alone. The good news is that your sexless today does not have to be sexless forever. You can recover sex for yourself and your partner.
Articles in the popular press describe a shift to less sex among partnered couples, sexless, or nearly-sexless marriages. Academic studies, such as this one from the Archives of Sexual Behavior provide empirical support for a widespread feeling that we are having sex less often.
American adults had sex about nine fewer times per year in the early 2010s compared to the late 1990s in data from the nationally representative General Social Survey, N = 26,620, 1989–2014… Sexual frequency declined among the partnered (married or living together)
Access the article here (Archives of Sexual Behavior – November 2017, Volume 46, Issue 8, pp 2389–2401).
Can you put the finger on when or how your relationship drifted towards no sex or very sporadic sex? Abby Rodman, writing about sexless marriages in The Huffington Post, cites children (the most popular response), time (“before our fifth anniversary” or “being married over 10 years”), and health issues.
Does it matter if you and your spouse don’t have sex, or have sex very infrequently?
It does, especially when one of the partners is unhappy about being in a sexless relationship. And if you are in a sexless marriage it’s more than likely that you or your spouse are very unhappy about it. In fact, in 75% of the sexless or low-frequency sex marriages, at least one partner is unhappy. And, more than half of those said they wouldn’t have entered the marriage if they had known the marriage would be sexless.
If you don’t mind if your spouse goes outside the marriage for sex, you might have a workaround. But, you would be in a minority. More than 3/4 of spouses said this was definitely not okay.
There is help
Getting help for low libido and other sexual problems, including sexless marriages or low-frequency sex in your relationship, is possible. I can help you reconnect on a physical and emotional level for a better, closer relationship. You can have more intimacy, more fun, and start having orgasms.
Sex therapy with me is in an accepting, comfortable place where we will work through the issues affecting your relationship and give you the help you need to make it better.
Call now for a free 15-minute consultation, or just fill out the contact form and click Send.
Twenge, J.M., Sherman, R.A. & Wells, B.E. Arch Sex Behav (2017) 46: 2389. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-0953-1Please like and share this post!