I now have skype available!  So if you have a webcam, you can now see me from the privacy of your home.  I will still offer in office therapy, of course, but this is a convenient option when time is very limited. 

Skype sessions are also ideal if you have just been too embarrassed to get yourself into my office.  I know that it takes a big leap of faith and a huge amount of courage to make that first appointment – so if this sounds like a better option for you, we can go this route. 

Finally, skype is available for those who don’t live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth* metroplex.  I have had couples drive in from places like Tyler and Longview – now you can save yourself the trip, and still get the help you want!

Call me if you’d like to set this up.  I look forward to hearing from you.

*My license allows me to practice only within the state of Texas.

It is very important to find a therapist that fits you for your needs and goals.  For this reason, I am happy to talk with you via phone to answer all your questions about how you and I might work together.  That way, you can get a sense of how I work with people to resolve their concerns with sex and intimacy. 

I know that it can be difficult to make that first call, but I think that you  will be glad that you did.  To schedule your free consultation, email  or call me at 214-692-6100.

I will be starting a sexual trauma group for women on October 26th. 

This group will be limited to 6 participants, and will meet twice per month

for an hour and a half.  The focus will be on recognizing and healing from

the lasting effects of rape, sexual abuse and incest. 

If you are interested in becoming a member, please call my office at 214-692-6100.

I look forward to talking with you.

I’d like to invite you to join me on Thursday, October 20th from 11-11:45 am for the next Meet the Sex Therapist hour. 

This is simply a time that I have set aside for your questions about sex, intimacy,and  sex therapy.  I look forward to talking with you!

Do you have questions about what it would be like to get sex therapy?  Lots of people do – so I am hosting a Q &A:   Ask the Sex Therapist hour on Thursday, June 23rd from 2-3 pm. 

You can call anytime during that hour at 214-692-6100 to talk from the privacy of your home. 

  Feel free to ask  any questions you may have about how I work with individuals and couples to resolve their general concerns, such as communication, parenting, trust, conflict resolution, recovery from affairs, as well as with sexual problems like low sexual desire, lack  of orgasm, arousal difficulties, difficulty with pain or penetration, erectile dysfunction, early and delayed ejaculation, sex addiction and fetishes.

  Maybe you are unsure if sex therapy is for you.   Perhaps you’d like to talk a bit with me just to get a sense of who I am as a therapist – to see if I seem like someone that you could talk to.  It is important to feel you have a “good fit” with anyone you choose to work with. 

So call me on June 23rd – I’ll be waiting to answer your questions.  If I am deluged with calls, leave a message and I will call you right back,  or try back in a few minutes.  I look forward to talking with you.

I am often asked if I do “regular” therapy.  While this site is mostly dedicated to providing information on sexual problems, and the work I do as a Certified Sex Therapist, I have been a psychotherapist since 1986, so YES, I do most types of therapy – for individuals, couples & families.

Here are some of the concerns that people come to me to help them find solutions for:

General Relationship issues such as Communication, Conflict Resolution, Parenting & Step-Parenting Issues, Coping with Aging Parents, Family Unity and Couple’s Closeness, Trust & Intimacy Issues, Rebuilding after an Affair, Depression (including Post-Partum), Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Sexual Trauma and Abuse, Adult Children of Alcoholics,  Grief & Loss, Self-Sabotage, Self-Esteem, Perfectionism, Procrastination, ADD/ADHD, Assertiveness, and Stress Management. 

Please feel free to call me if you are wondering if your concern is one that I could work with you on, or to get a sense of how I work.  I will tell you if I do not do work in that area, and will then refer you to the best therapists that I know.    It never hurts to call – 214-692-6100.

Happy New Year! 

Is improving your sexual relationship at the top of your reslolutions for 2011?

Maybe you  have put your sex life on the back burner because you are so busy.

Or perhaps you never made a conscious decision, but somehow sex just always

seems to land at the bottom of your priorities.    Maybe sex is wonderful when you

do get around to it, but you just don’t that often.  Has it been a month already???

For today’s super busy couples, there are so many things to do every single day 

 - that having sex doesn’t have the same demanding urgency.  While you might

agree that sex is important – at least to your partner if you are the lower libido person

in your  relationship – the lack of urgency for it can lead you down complacency lane.

You may tell yourself that your partner “understands” how stressed and busy you are

and that you will take a long weekend soon to make up for lost time.  Or that things will

get better after the kids are out of diapers.  But this line of thinking can go on until the

kids are out of the house – and your partner may not be far behind! 

The lack of spontaneity you might have from planning sex (yes, even putting it on your

calendar) is a small price to pay for keeping those home fires burning.  Because when a

couple has a good sex life, the imporance of sex seems about 20% of the whole.  But for a no-

sex marriage – sex will seem to rank at 80%  significance of the total relationship. 

I’m all for sexual spontaneity – but sex can still be fabulous even if its on your  calendar.

I work with so many couples who have good marriages.  They tell me they love each other, are committed to each other, and are strong in every area – except sex.  There are many factors that can affect your level of desire – and one of them is avoiding conflict. 

Even in good marriages, disagreement will happen.  The key is to have some good tools you can use to effectively manage that conflict.  I keep saying that all couples need a Good Marriage 101 course – because most of us enter marriage thinking our love with be enough to get through anything.  But if you don’t have any tools, you may not know what to do when a difference arises with your spouse .  You may tell yourself that its not that big of a deal, and try to move on.  Sometimes this works, and sometimes it can fester.   If it festers, it can gradually kill your healthy libido.  And you may not even be aware that it is occurring – or that it could be the reason for your desire falling away.

Often I can give couples some tools, which are simple, but effective, and can take the uneasiness out of bringing up a complaint or hurt feelings.   Learning how to manage small conflicts can prevent them from building up over time.  It can also give you both confidence  that you will be able to handle any big issues that may come up.

Having conflict doesn’t have to mean that your marriage is falling apart –  if you just have the tools to help you resolve them together.

“I’m just not a sexual person”

“I just never think about sex”

“I have no desire for sex – and I mean none at all”

“I don’t ever fantasize, much less masturbate”

This what women tell me about themselves when they come to see me for help with learning to have orgasms, or improving their libidos.  While I do believe that all humans are sexual, I know that  some have lost touch with their sexual selves to such a degree that they don’t think it exists. 

One client said that her upbringing so discouraged discussion – and even thoughts about sex – that she felt there had been a “lockdown of my mind.”  Now, years later, in therapy she is seeing how pervasive that lockdown was, but  is also finding that she has the key to free herself to desire and enjoy sex.   

Your sexuality is a source of energy, vitality, pleasure, closeness and bonding.  It is what separates friends and roommates from spouses and lovers.  It is wonderful glue for a marriage.  And it can make some of the little annoyances of living together stay just  that – little.

It may surprise you to hear this, but an amazingly high number of people are not aroused during sex.  For many men and women, being able to relax into a sexual experience is a rare occurrence. 

Women often need more “transition time” – to shed their other roles and responsibilities and shift into being a sexually responsive wife.  Depending upon how stressed and harried your life is, you may need at least an hour to unwind and leave your To-Do list behind.  When the initiation of sex happens at 9 or 10 pm, this is not very likely to take place. 

For both sexes, being able to focus on sensation and gently bring their minds back to the simple giving and receiving of pleasure, is easier said than done.  Human minds wander – and if you’re not relaxed and very aroused, you may find it drifting to the unfinished chores or work projects you have.  If you can gently remind yourself when this happens, to come back to the sensation, you can get back on track.

Taking adequate time for foreplay is also essential if you are going to get aroused.  I often hear from clients that they skip over foreplay because they aren’t really feeling desire.  When they do this, they make it nearly impossible to get aroused enough to have a satisfying sexual experience.  “Get it over with sex” is a sure path to low arousal, no satisfaction, and only validates your low libido. 

When you are very aroused, you won’t notice the dog barking outside, or find your mind straying to the treadmill of responsibilities in your life.  You become very focused.  You are feeling it – and it is great.  It is worth the time, and the energy it takes to get there.