“I’m just not a sexual person”
“I just never think about sex”
“I have no desire for sex – and I mean none at all”
“I don’t ever fantasize, much less masturbate”
This what women tell me about themselves when they come to see me for help with learning to have orgasms, or improving their libidos. While I do believe that all humans are sexual, I know that some have lost touch with their sexual selves to such a degree that they don’t think it exists.
One client said that her upbringing so discouraged discussion – and even thoughts about sex – that she felt there had been a “lockdown of my mind.” Now, years later, in therapy she is seeing how pervasive that lockdown was, but is also finding that she has the key to free herself to desire and enjoy sex.
Your sexuality is a source of energy, vitality, pleasure, closeness and bonding. It is what separates friends and roommates from spouses and lovers. It is wonderful glue for a marriage. And it can make some of the little annoyances of living together stay just that – little.