Boost Your Low Libido

“It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing.  It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.” Mother Teresa

I was struck by these words I stumbled upon – and began to think about how often couples tell me that they have been “going through the motions” in bed, and in their life together overall.  Too often being settled in as a couple means taking things for granted, and then, drifting apart.

I think of couples I have seen who are stuck in a control battle that goes like this:  He says he will give her more affection after she gives him more sex.  She says she will give him more sex after he gives her more affection.  Usually, he is more comfortable with sex, and she is more comfortable with affection, but they can stay in this tug of war forever.

I tell couples they need to make efforts to give  what the other needs  without conditions, because it is the loving thing to do.  Giving with the expectation of an immediate “return on your investment” can feel to your partner like pressure.  Love and desire does not grow under pressure or coercion.  Each partner must push him/herself to get better and more comfortable with sex or affection, which will make each of you better individuals as well as partners.   If you both come from a place of trying to put love into your touches, or your lovemaking, your partner will feel that.  And this will likely create the kind of give and take that you both want.

For more information about increasing your libido, look over my Self-Help Guide:

No Room For Sex:  How To Boost Your Low Libido.  It is full of ideas, exercises and suggestions that you can start using today to increase your desire.