Boost Your Low Libido

Most of the couples that I see in my Dallas sex therapy practice would describe their relationship as strong and fulfilling in most departments.  They tell me that they love each other and are deeply committed to each other.  There’s just this one problem – she has no interest in sex.

One thing that can cause a woman’s libido to tank is what I call “the little hurts.”  A little hurt might be different for every person, but consider this example from a fictional couple, Sam and Amy.  One night Amy decided to put on some of the lingerie that Sam had given her, which had been in her drawer unworn for months.  She felt a bit awkward and timid about “being so bold,” but she put it on, and called Sam into the bedroom. 

“I will never forget the expression on his face!” Amy said to me in tears.  Evidently, Sam had been so surprised, that he felt awkward and unsure of what to say to respond to her.   She had never done this before, and he was at a complete loss about what to do.  His expression of nervousness and surprise had been interpreted by Amy to mean that he didn’t think she looked sexy in the lingerie. 

Despite the fact that this fictional couple worked it out, and continued with their lives, this little hurt remains in the back of Amy’s mind.  It makes her feel vulnerable about daring to be bold sexually again.    This is the kind of little hurt (in comparison to being cheated on, or verbally abused) that can sap a woman’s libido.  Or a man’s libido.  I help couples become aware of any little hurts that may be killing your libido, so you can work through them and put them truly in the past where they belong. 

If you’d like to read more about how buried resentments can hurt your libido, and what to do about it,

see my eBook – No Room For Sex:  How To Boost Your Low Libido.