Boost Your Low Libido

Often the couples that I see very much love each other, and are completely committed to each other.  Even these couples must fight familiarity to keep their  sex lives from falling prey to Low Libido. 

What do I mean by familiarity?  While it may seem wonderful in some ways to be so comfortable with your spouse that you finish each other’s sentences, sleep in a giant t-shirt, kiss before brushing your teeth in the morning, leave the bathroom door open all the time, and even enjoy hygiene-free weekends where you don’t shave or shower until Monday morning – there is a cost to this for your libido.  Especially for a woman’s libido. 

Familiarity can lead to taking your partner for granted, which can then result in resentment.  So in this way, familiarity can breed contempt.  Forgetting to communicate that your spouse is important to you, to take care to maintain some privacy and  present yourself as reasonably attractive can leave a woman feeling neglected and uncared for.   Likewise, abruptly leaving a room  – especially immediately after sex can make one feel like chopped liver. 

When you were dating, or early in your marriage, would you have ever jumped out of bed after making love to run to the bathroom or let the dogs out?  Would you leave for the day without a goodbye kiss and a long embrace?  Would you forget her birthday?  Yes, I know, sometimes the dogs do need to be let out.  But take a minute to look into your spouse’s eyes, kiss him or her, and tease playfully – “I know you’ll miss me terribly, but I have to go let the dogs out.  I’ll be right back.” 

If you know exactly what to expect in bed every time you make love, familiarity will breed boredom.  You must put energy and creativity into spicing it up to avoid getting into a sexual rut.  Sexual boredom also kills libido.  Recall when you were dating – what made you feel special then?  What created a sense of excitement about seeing him the next time?  I know you can’t feel exactly like you did when you were nineteen, but you can put some imagination into making your next date memorable.  Do something different! 

One idea I thought was great for couples who are shy about discussing what they want more or less of in bed is to subscribe to Men’s Health and Cosmopolitan magazines.  Read the steamy stories and highlight what sounds appealing to you.  Then switch magazines with your spouse.  You will increase your idea bank and also have a structure that makes it easier for you to begin talking about it.  You’ll likely laugh about it together. 

So have fun fighting familiarity, and your libido will thank you for it.  If you’d like to get started right now, you might check out my eBook — No Room For Sex:  How To Boost Your Low Libido.