Number of times I have heard this from my clients: hundreds.
Emotional toll of seeing a general marital therapist vs. a sex therapist: priceless.
By the time I have the opportunity to help a couple get out of the frustration and pain of their sexual problem, they may have seen several other general marital counselors.
By the time I see Sam and Mary, for example, they are TIRED.
They are DISCOURAGED.
They say they have already been there, done that as far as trying everything to reclaim her desire. So we might say Sam and Mary have “baggage” by the time I even begin to work with them. Sam may even be on the verge of walking out because he feels so hopeless about their being able to have a good sex life – even though he loves her deeply. This is so sad.
Don’t let this happen to you.
There is a world of difference between a general marital therapist and a Certified Sex Therapist!
A marital therapist typically has no training in sex therapy techniques or in understanding sexuality. This means that they will likely approach your problem by trying to help you solve problems in your marriage like communication, managing conflict, or negotiating compromises about things like who takes out the trash and who does the dishes. While these may be part of the underlying problem of your low desire, if they are not discussing sexual matters directly, it WILL NOT just all fall into place once you have better communication skills.
Yes, I do work with my clients on these same things, IF I determine first that they are part of the sexual problem.
However, I am also going to give you homework exercises that directly focus on what you do sexually with each other. UNLIKE most of the general marital therapists I know, I am comfortable talking about any aspect of sexual thoughts, feelings or behavior – and this is a MUST for doing good sex therapy.
Seeing an in-network marital therapist: very inexpensive
Results: increased pain and frustration, wasted time and energy
Seeing a Certified Sex Therapist out of network: more expensive
Results: priceless
If you’d like to get more of a sense about how sex therapy works as well as information on improving your level of desire, consider my eBook - No Room For Sex: How To Boost Your Low Libido.
